Bedtime

When is a child too old to be tucked into bed at night?

When my son was little, I loved to tuck him into bed and snuggle for a bedtime story. After he was old enough to read, we would sit together and take turns reading before I kissed him goodnight. Now that he's fourteen, it's more of a 'make sure he's in bed' thing, finish up any thoughts not yet discussed, quick kiss on the cheek and then I turn out the lights and head for my room.

When visiting relatives not too long ago, they ridiculed my son for saying he was ready to be tucked in and called him a baby. I was informed that it wasn't healthy for a child that old to be tucked into bed. He should just say good night and do it himself. Oh, so it's healthy to ridicule a child?

Everyone has advice to give on the proper procedures for raising a child. I say they're never too old to be told they're loved and that goes for 'grown-ups' too - so, that's my opinion.

The Nightmare of Homework

How am I supposed to get it through my son’s head that he has to do his homework? I remind him and have even punished him but he still waits to the last minute if he remembers to do it at all.

When he decides to do it, he’s never prepared. For example – in science, he was supposed to measure certain items for homework. We do not own a metric ruler. He tried to blame it on me but I reminded him that he had not told me he needed it. We had to do a little scrambling to find resources on line to help. One website – http://lamar.colostate.edu/~hillger/common.html - was filled with information but could not help us actually measure the items listed on the assignment.

Another time, he needed a shoe box to make a panorama for one of his classes and we had to go around the neighborhood asking for one. I guess he thought I would buy shoes just to have the box.

He won’t even look over the article I gave him about organizing his time and getting his homework done. It’s always a battle and we end up arguing - so again the homework doesn’t get done. I don’t know how many times I’ve restricted his use of the computer or his TV time.

His grades at school reflect the fact that he’s not doing his assignments. It doesn’t seem to make an impression when I explain the importance of school to his future. I wish I knew what I can say or do to get through to him.

Why don’t you need a license for parenting?

We have to get a driver’s license, a marriage license, a fishing license and so on. I was totally unprepared for the trials and tribulations of motherhood. Oh – I knew how to change a diaper and feed a baby but that’s about it. When I was pregnant, I watched mothers in the mall and studied their ‘parenting skills’ and made notes on what worked and what didn’t. I listened in horror to the stories of the terrible two’s and the nightmares of potty training but felt they were blown way out of proportion. I was wrong.

Somehow I survived but am now facing the terrifying teenage years. Do you think I remember one bit of advice? Well, I don’t and I’m totally unprepared for what’s ahead of me. Now I long for the days of long naps, story time and trips to the park. I’ve forgotten the teething, tantrums, and scraped knees and remember the sweet smell of baby powder and the tender hugs from little arms.

My son is now taller than I am and starting to believe he knows it all. I went from “Mommy, I love you” to “Mom, you don’t know what you’re talking about” in a very short time. His room is a mess and he doesn’t seem to remember how to take out the garbage. He’s always on the computer and texting his friends. He’s impossible to wake up in the morning and he has a very dim view of the value of school. Everything I’ve learned about parenting through the years is useless now.

Teenagers should be considered a different species from toddlers and treated accordingly. I get a weird sense of satisfaction when looking at frazzled young mothers because I now know what’s coming.